Monday, August 1, 2011

The Three Pints PDF Print E-mail

By Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein   
An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guiness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then a sip from the next, until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "You know, they'd be less likely to go flat if you bought them one at a time."
The man says, "Yeah, I know, but I have two brothers, one in the States, one in Australia. When we all went our separate ways, we promised each other that we'd all drink this way in memory of the days when we drank together. Each of these is for one of my brothers and the third is for me."
The bartender is touched, and says, "What a great custom!"
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always orders the same way.
One day he comes in and orders two pints. The other regulars notice, and a silence falls over the bar. When he comes to the bar for his second round, the bartender says, "Please accept my condolences, pal."
The Irishman says, "Oh, no, everyone's fine. I just joined the Mormon Church, and I had to quit drinking."
I told that joke to Elder Bingham last night, and it made him bust out laughing.  It kind of reminds me of some times back in Redmond.  I used to work at a grocery store called Top foods, in Redmond.  People always used to invite me to drink with them, assuming that I was an adult.  (That only happened a few days ago.)  I'd have to explain to them that not only was I a minor, I was a Mormon.

There's a lot of evidence for why people shouldn't drink.  It doesn't really do anything for a person, it slowly kills a person's liver, and it makes you do things that no sane person would.  As Elizabeth Swan puts it, "It is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels." 

However, the biggest reason why I don't drink alcohol is because God has told us not to.  In section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants, God revealed that " inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good...again, strong drinks are not for the belly."  I know that so long as we obey this law, we will have fewer health problems.  I've yet to drink alcohol, and I don't plan on changing this fact.

Wouldn't you think about it?

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